Christmas balance.

Merry Christmas to one and all! I spent today designing, crafting, and helping cook Christmas Eve dinner. It's such a melancholy time for me always. This year especially. As much as I love every minute of the season and being with my family, I am still reminded of the heart break of the previous year. Spending the holidays with my happily married siblings, I find myself always aware of my solitude and sometimes loneliness. When we set the dinner table there's always an odd numbered place setting that throws the table off balance. It's times like that where I feel it the most. I am so blessed to have my healthy wonderful family, I shouldn't be complaining. I think so many other people feel the same things though.... 'Tis the season for melancholy loneliness.

Santa's workshop had a satellite office tonight in our kitchen. After taking the little 2-year old niecey to see Santa yesterday, we discovered that what she really wants from Santa is a green pony. Damn. So the 4 women in my family ran out to the toy store after dinner last night to find one. Of course, we found no green ponies. So, being the crafter of the family, I took on the job of giving the black and white pony a green mane. My fingers are sore, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Seeing her face tomorrow when she makes the connection to Santa will be amazing. Christmas becomes a whole new holiday when there are little ones around to remind me of the magic of the season. Alone or not, that magic is palpable this year.