Vampire cereal boxes.

Good mornin' empty internets. Just doing my regular morning compulsive facebook checking. What IS it about watching other people's lives? It disgusts me every single time I open it and see "Blah Blah's ENGAGED!!" or "Blah Sullivan Blahboh is SO excited to have a date night with her hubby!" Somebody get me a bucket! I think at least half of my 300 FB friends are sporting the three-name stamp of marital bliss and life-long happiness now. This all nauseates me, yet I keep going back for more! It's like that nasty car accident you pass on the highway. You really don't want to see a dead and bloody corpse smeared along the median, but somehow you can't help but scan for it as you slowly pass by. Facebook is my bloody highway corpse.

Sometimes I think my thoughts and dreams should get me committed. In last night's dream, my recent ex was a vampire (circa Twilight/TrueBlood). Everybody around me was a vampire too, I think. At one point the Ex - who we'll call "Gaylord", took his shirt off... Sadly, it was not a scene from the movie, and Taylor Lautner's obscenely hot, sweaty, tanned, and muscly body was absent. Instead it was Gaylord's regular body. Yawn... Evidently his chest had, at some point, been cut open and was sewn back together with big black thread. It had been so perfectly cut & sewn that he looked like one of those mini cereal boxes. You know the ones with the perforated side where you can open it up and turn it into a less than functional cereal bowl? Yes, Gaylord had been turned into a mini box of fruit loops. I only wish I had been the one to do the cutting open in the first place! Oh well, maybe next time.

My dreams are ridiculous... so is Gaylord.