Dear Chicago.

Hello Internetsters! Well, the family holidays have come and gone and we all survived. This year doesn't feel like as much of a let-down as it has in the past though. I have something wonderful to look forward to in the next 3 weeks. Starting fresh in a new city with a new career path and new people. Dear Chicago....

I wonder what this new city will be for me. Part of me hates the idea of going back to the midwest and fears getting stuck there. I never wanted to end up in a place so land-locked. To me, Chicago was the default city for most of my high school and I vowed never to follow that path. I haven't though, I guess. My path took my to RI and NY before landing back there. I think it makes it a little more ok for me now that my family is not in IL anymore. It's not as if I'm moving "home." I'm moving to another great city with tons to offer. NY, Chicago... next maybe Austin, LA, or San Francisco? Have I ever gotten 'stuck' anywhere in my life? No. It will be wonderful to be surrounded by a network of connections. With so many high school and college friends & acquaintances there, it will be much easier to build a social network and life. Of course who am I kidding, there are those few high school characters that might ruin my day or night if I happen to run into them. But hey, we're all adults. ... I will still avoid them at all costs.

Weird little beast.

via Fairytale_Photohs

I love this.

Christmas balance.

Merry Christmas to one and all! I spent today designing, crafting, and helping cook Christmas Eve dinner. It's such a melancholy time for me always. This year especially. As much as I love every minute of the season and being with my family, I am still reminded of the heart break of the previous year. Spending the holidays with my happily married siblings, I find myself always aware of my solitude and sometimes loneliness. When we set the dinner table there's always an odd numbered place setting that throws the table off balance. It's times like that where I feel it the most. I am so blessed to have my healthy wonderful family, I shouldn't be complaining. I think so many other people feel the same things though.... 'Tis the season for melancholy loneliness.

Santa's workshop had a satellite office tonight in our kitchen. After taking the little 2-year old niecey to see Santa yesterday, we discovered that what she really wants from Santa is a green pony. Damn. So the 4 women in my family ran out to the toy store after dinner last night to find one. Of course, we found no green ponies. So, being the crafter of the family, I took on the job of giving the black and white pony a green mane. My fingers are sore, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Seeing her face tomorrow when she makes the connection to Santa will be amazing. Christmas becomes a whole new holiday when there are little ones around to remind me of the magic of the season. Alone or not, that magic is palpable this year.

Omelette du Fromage.

Oh Dexter, Dexter!!! French is the language of LOVE!!! Oh Dexter!!!!

Just Du it!

Not Perfect.

I love you ICanRead

and this too

Just Like Mary Jane

I love this on so many levels.

ReformSchool

Keep Calm.

William Arthur Ward.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk revealing your true self.
To place you ideas, your dreams, before a crowd
Is to risk rejection.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk disappointment.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard
In life is to risk nothing.
Those who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing,
And become nothing.
They may avoid present suffering and sorrow, but they
Will not learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.
Chained by their fear, they are slaves who have forfeited
Their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.
- William Arthur Ward

Thank you FuckYeahHappy

Communication tornado.

I should not be allowed to use a computer or a phone with internet capabilities after I've had more than 1 glass of wine. I lose all sense of self-control and dignity. I would like to issue a public apology concerning certain communications with certain parties last evening. Some communications may have been inappropriate in nature, some inappropriate in frequency, and all were completely unnecessary. My apologies to all parties who were caught in the wine-induced communication tornado. I assure you that I am working to improve upon my currently lacking sense of control.

Etsy Love.

I LOVE Etsy. Have I mentioned that? I just found the coolest accessory from the Etsy shop "Shanae." And for $12, I couldn't pass it up. In a few days, the black version of this will be wrapped around my waist, I can't wait!

You Tomcat you.

Good mornin'! I'm in a fancy mood today. I think it's all the Nancy Sinatra and Dinah Shore I've been listening to. They make me want to dress like a fancy lady and start droppin' the 'g' on words like 'feelin' and 'comin'. Maybe it's the holiday season too. There are always movies on TV in black and gray where the actors have strange and elegant accents with dropped 'r's and 'g's. I'm gonna start callin' people 'TomCat'.

Skeeter.

• Gonna Get Along Without You Now by Skeeter Davis

More Skeeter Davis music on iLike

Your weather.

I still check the weather where you are. All of you.

The List: No Tank Tops.

I was asked the other day about my list of necessary qualities in an ideal man. I didn't have a list, but it got me thinking, so I came up with one.

First things that came to mind were The Biggies:
Humor
Generosity
Passion
Intelligence
Compassion
Patience
Creativity
Tolerance
Curiosity
Romance...

Then I moved on to:
Never wears tank tops
No more than 1 current piercing - preferably no piercings
No basketball shoes off the court - or really ever in general. I hate them. a lot.
Not into cars or motorcycles
Plays guitar and/or piano
Knows more about music than I do
Style conscious - updated, no pleats, no I'll-fitting clothes, no khaki pants
Appreciates good design, art, and music
Older than me. - in NY I wouldn't date anyone under 30, but elsewhere that rule can be more flexible
Employed
Financially responsible - but not cheap
Not the baby of the family - not an only child either
Consistently Active (running, skateboarding, etc) - and I don't mean golf, I hate golf.
Adventurous with food - I can't handle picky eaters
Liberal
Environmentally responsible and conscious

Tell me, is this list too long??

Holiday Joy.

Frohhhhsted Window panes...

'Tis the season for the Carpenters Christmas, double-stick tape, mint M&Ms, and.... family photos. This should put you in the holiday spirit!
Or at the very least, make you praise Jesus that you aren't part of this tragic display of a 1990's, holiday sweatshirt & a dickie, reindeer antlered, couple (and dog) love fest.



Thank you AwkwardFamilyPhotos for making my holiday dreams come true.

Paula Deen & Trops.

Wild and crazy dreams last night. I had just moved into a huge 2 bedroom apartment that I was renting for $950. It must have been some tiny little town because that is CHEAP. Ex-Coworker (We'll call him EC) was there. I think I had somehow come home after partying all night or something and was trying to go to bed. The apartment was too bright though because the sun was coming up and all of the sudden the landlord walked through my bedroom with another tenant. I got all mad, and he said that he had to come through this way to show other apartments. Then I realized that EC was gone and that there was someone living in the second bedroom. A guy who I didn't recognize so I put a bunch of furniture in front of the door so he couldn't get in. Somewhere in there, I gave up on going to bed and came out into a filthy apartment with stained plastic wallcoverings everywhere. There were two kitchens and randomly a bunch of people were hanging out. Some of Gaylords friends were there of course. I can't really figure out why they never get out of my dreams.
Now, we were all getting ready to go out again and my college roommate showed up. I guess I had moved back to Columbia, MO. We were both dressed in hot pink and teal like it was 2003. She told me she had a surprise and we had to go downstairs to pick it up. We ran down the stairs and there was PAULA DEEN!!!! She had come to deliver us each a gigantic Trops! Most of you won't know what that is, but Trops is a rare and magnificent treat that exists only in Columbia, MO. I was beyond excited to see Paula and taste the sweet intoxicating icy nectar in my 32oz styrofoam cup. Ahhhh... Sluurrp

Happy Tropical holidays to you and your 1/2 Silver Bullet&TigerPaw...

ElseyCuffs.

New listings on Etsy.
Seven new ElseyCuffs in sassy colors!


ElseyCuff(Grays) Oops! This one is sold already!

The ultimate Lady.

ElseyElle on FB.

ElseyElle is on Facebook! Become a fan!

A Big Red Bow...

New listings are up on ElseyElle on Etsy. I'm loving the (HollyBerry) and (SkyBerry) bows they're both so fresh and playful!





Today is a new day and a new chance to practice happiness! A big red bow can make all the difference in the world :)

Tiny Thrills.

This is kind of thrilling to me.

FuckYeahHappy.

After a day like today, I need a blog like this:

http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com



And a song like this:

Breathe - Telepopmusik

in fact, I think this song needs a permanent spot here. For now...

Asian babies are better.

This makes me want to have a little asian baby.

Candy-licious.

The dreams were out to get me last night. An entire night of dreaming of "Gaylord" makes for a super shit-tastic morning. These dreams weren't so satisfying as the Gaylord cereal box dream though. This time, I was witnessing the new and nauseating relationship between Gaylord and his 22 year old fling (We'll call her "Candy"). Yes, in my supposedly restful hours, I went to a gallery opening only to run into Gaylord and all his friends. Of course Candy was there on his arm looking extra candy-licious. I also had to ride a bus to some irritating destination sitting behind them. Then I found myself at a birthday party for one of Gaylord's friends and who shows up?? Gaylord! Talking on and on about his puke-tastic love for Candy. In this scene, Candy showed up a few minutes later and I actually got the chance to drag her down into a raunchy girl fight! The feeling of dream Elle slapping Candy square across the face with all the force of ten burly werewolves was.... just phenomenal.
Moments later, while I was still pounding into her with the passion and fury that only a dream can deliver, I awoke. The feeling of satisfaction immediately vanished, and my rational mind started pounding on the door of my emotional mind telling me to calm the fuck down! In my non-dream reality I remembered that I've never actually had the balls to hit someone and that I would never really choose to unleash that ferocious anger onto Candy in real life. Despite her barely legal age and the disgust I feel for her actions that led to her stealing my man's heart... Candy is cool. That is the rankest, most heinous part of this equation. If she hadn't stolen my heart and soul when she took my love away, I would probably be good friends with her. Isn't that just disgusting!? I can't even hate her! In fact, she really reminds me so much of myself. I'm sure Gaylord doesn't realize this, but Candy and I are so alike in so many ways. I'm pretty sure Gaylord never really knew my true personality though, so probably he wouldn't agree with that statement.

Oh... life and love.. it just isn't fair.

What IS fair though, is that I made TWO more sales last night on Etsy! ElseyBows (GoldenGray) & (SkyBubbly) are sold and sent away! I LOVE etsy! Do you like these? If so... you should see the others!

Creation.

My beautiful friend Sheena sent me this card.

Beginning creation now.

Permanently.

Lady Bees.

Every Thursday morning, I wake up to the sound of the small army of hispanic ladies that my mother has hired to clean the house. These women come in like a buzzing swarm of spanish speaking worker bees, fly around the house chirping to each other for about an hour and leave a sparkly space behind. It seems miraculous. But oh... the feelings of guilt... I'm laying in my giant king-size bed with crispy egyptian cotton sheets, still fast asleep when they arrive at 9am. They're just beginning a day of intense labor and I'm the lazy piece of shit who gets to sleep until 9 (or 10), have tea, read blogs, write some stuff, and knit all day. I can't help but wonder what they must think when they see me come downstairs every Thursday morning for a cup of tea. Maybe that I'm a student living at home? Or maybe that I have a husband who's off heroically fighting the war and I'm left here all alone? It's more likely that they think I'm just an over-privileged twenty-something feeding off her parents. Gross.

Ladies!! I'm soul-searching! I'm finding my passion and finding myself! ... oh well. In 5 weeks, I'll be on my way to a new life and a making my way down a new path. My own path.

My own freezing cold, making my own happiness, following my dreams path.

Ew Ew Ew... Gross.

Rhodamine.

'Sup. Last night, I dreamed that Sarah Jessica Parker was 80 yrs old and had a newborn baby (one that she had given birth to). The baby had some kind of malfunction and wrinkly old SJP was having trouble figuring out what to do. Hello Lifetime Original movie!

Speaking of pink lip color...
Most exciting purchase of the week: A fresh new Rhodamine Prismacolor marker!!! This shit is bananas, seriously. Nevermind the potential toxicity situation, this is the best lip color/stain you will ever find. It stays on infinitely long and the color is just... succulent. Rhodamine is my favorite hottest hot pink and when I sweep it over my lips I am instantly transformed into a girl rocker. At least in my mind I am.



You can also see it in action on my Etsy shop, just opened last night. That's right, I'm a girl rocker AND a crafter.

ElseyElle on Etsy

Vampire cereal boxes.

Good mornin' empty internets. Just doing my regular morning compulsive facebook checking. What IS it about watching other people's lives? It disgusts me every single time I open it and see "Blah Blah's ENGAGED!!" or "Blah Sullivan Blahboh is SO excited to have a date night with her hubby!" Somebody get me a bucket! I think at least half of my 300 FB friends are sporting the three-name stamp of marital bliss and life-long happiness now. This all nauseates me, yet I keep going back for more! It's like that nasty car accident you pass on the highway. You really don't want to see a dead and bloody corpse smeared along the median, but somehow you can't help but scan for it as you slowly pass by. Facebook is my bloody highway corpse.

Sometimes I think my thoughts and dreams should get me committed. In last night's dream, my recent ex was a vampire (circa Twilight/TrueBlood). Everybody around me was a vampire too, I think. At one point the Ex - who we'll call "Gaylord", took his shirt off... Sadly, it was not a scene from the movie, and Taylor Lautner's obscenely hot, sweaty, tanned, and muscly body was absent. Instead it was Gaylord's regular body. Yawn... Evidently his chest had, at some point, been cut open and was sewn back together with big black thread. It had been so perfectly cut & sewn that he looked like one of those mini cereal boxes. You know the ones with the perforated side where you can open it up and turn it into a less than functional cereal bowl? Yes, Gaylord had been turned into a mini box of fruit loops. I only wish I had been the one to do the cutting open in the first place! Oh well, maybe next time.

My dreams are ridiculous... so is Gaylord.

Cuteness.

Cute, right? Yeah, this is my life right now... I'm knitting bows.

Soulja Boy Sucks.

Blah blah blah... Past Past Past... Elle spent the past two months mourning the loss of herself. The loss of everything she knew and everything she wanted. There's no reason to finish the story, nothing of any current importance happened between those years in school and right now. Now is the beginning. Maybe now is the everything. Now is where Elle finally finds HERself.

Why is letting go always the most ridiculous thing in the world? Why, when we're in the thick of it, can't we ever manage to remember the times where we thought "Well thank goodness that didn't work out!" I've thought that exact phrase more times than I can count and yet here I am, wanting it to have all worked out the way they said it would. Blah blah blah, just another girl like all the rest with a mashed up pile of potatoes for a heart. Seriously, never thought I'd be "that girl." Never thought I'd be so many things I am now, actually. Single, unemployed, homeless-ish... Yeah, I'm over it. Today I took it all in my hands and threw it all out the window.... into oncoming traffic... on the interstate.... during rush hour... in New Jersey.

Sometimes social networking is the devil. I'm convinced. Facebook, it makes the world turn round, and keeps bringing you down. That's a sweet hook for the next shitty "Soulja Boy" song. Who let that guy get a record deal? Seriously? How can his "people" keep from shooting themselves in the face for producing such shit-tastic songs? "LOL Smiley Face???" Are they kidding me with this? Some douche bag writer actually sat in his studio apartment coming up with lyrics like that and he was serious? It's honestly insulting. "Shorty wanna text me, she say she wanna sex me." Gawwwwd.... fucking ridiculous. If this is what men are turning into, I'm switching teams. I keep thinking someone's going to make a public "Statement" finally telling us it was all an out of hand joke "AAAHAHAHA!"

Soulja Boy sucks.