Life Update.

Super successful 3 day weekend (or week beginning, for those in the 9-5 world). Plenty of over-indulgence, a little shopping, and a call-back for a job interview! I can already hear the cash flowing in :) I had a really great session with my new therapist yesterday. Starting to talk about my tendency to push men away out of fear. I get into relationships, then start sabotaging them to protect myself from being hurt, but all it does is insure that I will eventually be hurt in the end. I need to figure out how to stop that cycle. I want to be successful at real love. I want to be open to letting someone into my heart again. You can't really love when your heart is filled with fear.
We also talked about the fact that I have really spent my whole life, being who everyone else wants me to be. I've created myself to fit what my parents, family, and significant others have expected me to be and lost my true self in the process. Now, at the age of 28, I have realized that I've never really known who my true self is. I'm just now starting to listen to a deeper voice inside and follow my real dreams. I did that when I made the decision to go to Paul Mitchell and it was the best decision I've ever made. Following this new career path is the first step for getting to know my true self. Getting my tattoo was another moment that I followed my instincts and desires despite what others might think. I love tattoos, but never let myself get one because I knew my parents would be mad, and I was always dating guys who didn't like them. No man should ever keep me from being myself. 28 years of going through the motions and following expectations... It saddened me to realize this, but at the same time, it's exhilarating to know that now I get to make changes and spend time learning who I am. This is a big year.