In Half: September 2010

My finish medal and race bib with my official time, 1:59:16

The sun was just beginning to lighten the sky at 6:15 am

What an incredible day. Leaving the my apartment at 5 am, I was thinking, "Holy cow, people are still out from Saturday night right now." I hopped on the L, and landed at the Metra train stop surrounded by hundreds of runners. By the time I got on the train, almost all of the seats were filled with sleepy-eyed, but excited men and women in running shoes. We arrived at our stop and piled out of the train towards the race site. The sun wasn't even up yet, so we all walked in the dark like some sort of creepy runner's cult parade.
As I walked into the park, I started to get goosebumps surrounded by thousands (over 20,000 actually) of runners preparing for the race. It was chilly, and I didn't want to give up my fleece yet, so I walked around just to take it all in. A radio DJ was setting up and beginning to announce race instructions. The main stage was already set with band equipment, and all around me teams of people were pumping themselves up for the day. When the sun finally started to come up around 6:15, I packed up my stuff, took off my fleece, and turned it over the the gear check. Yipes! It was cold, but the adrenaline was helping keep me warm. I finished off my PowerBar energy gummy things, took one last gulp of Smart Water, and headed towards the start line as the sun was quickly turning the sky blue.
Not having any clue where I should be in the line, I just found a spot near other girls around my age. I ended up about 200 people in front of the 2:00hr mark but had no intention of running this in that fast. I thought I'd be lucky to get in around 2:15. Turns out, everyone around me had the same idea. Ok, I was ready! As the announcer started the count down at 7am, I felt a rush of excitement. I looked around at the sea of excited and nervous people in amazement. The crowd started to move forward as more and more people were crossing the start line. At about 7:05, I crossed the line and took off. I quickly realized that I was in a crowd of people with a much slower pace than I found comfortable.
For the first 4-5 miles, I was weaving in and out of the crowd, passing as many people as I could while keeping a comfortable pace. The course took us around the neighborhoods of the South Side, and then at the 4 mile mark, we turned out onto Lake Shore Drive for about 8 miles with gorgeous views of the clear blue sky and the still lake water. Soon after I hit Lake Shore, I found myself in a crowd with a comfortable pace and I settled into the run. I was keeping myself parallel with the 2:00hr pace-keeper. I still felt good, and was taking in everything around me as I ran. As I passed the 6 mile marker, I thought to myself "Man, I feel great! I'm almost 1/2way done!"
At 7 miles though, I hit a rough patch. My adrenaline fueled excitement had worn off and my legs started to get tired. The only thing keeping my pace consistent was that 2:00hr pacer and Lady Gaga in my ears. At this point the competitive nature in me wouldn't let me fall behind that pink "2:00" sign. After one more cup of gatorade, around mile 8, I got my second wind and pushed on past the 2hr guy. Phew! I was back! At this point, I decided that I was going to run this thing in under 2 hrs. I was over halfway and had kept up with them the entire time, why couldn't I finish with them (or just in front of them)? From mile 8 on, I chanted my personal mantra "Under 2, Under 2, Under 2!" in my mind.
A couple more miles passed and my mind was wondering, but I kept my pace up. Finally, we passed the 12 mile marker. I picked up my pace thinking "Only 1 mile left!" but quickly hit a wall. The 13th mile was brutal. My body was shutting down, my skin was no longer sweating, and I had goosebumps everywhere. My legs were struggling, big time, but I kept pushing. The spectator crowd was getting bigger and everyone I passed kept cheering "You're almost there! Way to go!!" It felt like a lie at that point because I couldn't see the finish line. "WHERE IS IT??" I kept thinking. That mile felt longer than any other mile. Finally, we turned a corner and I passed a sign "1/4 mile remaining" Thank God. I was really struggling, but my mantra kept pushing me. At this point, I was racing the 2hr pacer to the finish. I finally crossed the line in front of them and couldn't believe I had done it.
This was such an amazing feeling. The whole day was incredible, and I'm so proud of myself. My only goal was to finish, but I ended up finishing with a great time. I'm definitely hooked. This was my first, but will not be my last.

Some more photos of the event on the Chicago Half Marathon blog

So, it's been about a year since I started this little project. I'm kind of impressed that it's still going considering all the things that have happened. In 2009, I was hitting rock bottom. I had spent 2 years in a city that didn't fit. Was coming to the end of 9 years pursuing a career that sucked the life out of me. Had finally ended a 3 year long relationship with the biggest asshole I've ever really known and had found myself in another juvenile relationship that was ultimately based on nothing substantial. And had no real clue who I was or what I was doing with my life. 12 months ago I was in a downward spiral, about to hit the floor.

I've never been as low as I was last year, but how can I regret any of that after it brought me here? In the last 12 months, I have filled my life with amazing friendships, met handfuls of new and wonderful people and mentors, found a city that fits like a glove and is full of incredible opportunities, gained the courage to follow my own passion, and in the middle of all that, I have found my true, authentic self and ultimately fallen in love... with me. What a difference a year can make.